Further reminder to be patient with oneself

Dear X,
I was just thinking that a great thing about being thirty-something is seeing myself, literally, as a grownup. As in, I look in the mirror (or, oftentimes, a photo) and I swear I see my mom. I love that I see the resemblance more and more.

It reminds me of how you said to me once that you don't mind finding the occasional gray strand because you associate those stray hairs not with growing old but with an air of grace and dignity. Like mother, like daughter...

Dear O,

What would I do without you? Thank you for sharing this...You're right: turning 30 brings me further into an unfolding into that which I most admire.

I love you and am so blessed by your friendship.
Love, X

Crossing over to the dark side (well, it's sort of a light violet gray)

Dr. Really Cool Dude (former Medical Director of my soon-to-be-ex clinic) said I'd be entering a "different world" and I'm looking forward to the move to Downtown Hospital in a couple weeks. Of course, it didn't help that while Dee and I were out with some of her ED buddies last Saturday, one gal called it a "zoo" over there and another one piped up about stories she'd heard. Hey girls, try not to overwhelm me with a pep talk; it's too late for me to un-quit my current day job.

Like I said before, I'm excited. It's a terrific pre-nursing opportunity: inpatients and RN's galore. Plus I already have a healthy respect (pun intended) for the mental health field, so Psych should be a perfect fit. Wish me luck, folks!

"I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you perfect justice and I never promised you peace or happiness. My help is so that you can be free to fight for all of these things. The only reality I offer is challenge, and being well is being free to accept it or not at whatever level you are capable. I never promise lies, and the rose-garden world of perfection is a lie...and a bore too!"

--Deborah Blau's therapist in I Never Promised You a Rose Garden by Joanne Greenberg

P.S. for Dee, who didn't know some of my earlier references

Whoopsa daisy

I may have sat through Breakfast at Tiffany's as a kid but I don't remember much about the romantic comedy-- other than my mother telling me how Audrey Hepburn was right up there with the most beautiful and stylish women in the world (e.g. Princess Di, Jackie O, Iman) while I thought to myself that I preferred My Fair Lady because it was funnier to watch Eliza Doolittle go on about "the rain in Spain" with marbles/rocks/whatever stuffed in her mouth than to try to listen as Holly Golightly strummed "Moon River" on her guitar. I had no clue back then about being confused-thwarted-inspired by the pangs of romantic love.

Lucky for me, these days I live with someone who has a knack for recalling details, including certain arbitrary statements that I've made and then (almost) forgotten about. According to my beloved GF, I said I was serious about wanting to learn to play the ukelele. Therefore, I should *not* have been taken by surprise when today after work (after making me don my sleep mask after she caught me peeking) Dee placed a small, guitar-shaped case in my hands. "OK, you can open your eyes and present! Surprise, happy birthday!"

I *have* been wanting to have a hobby I can do on my own with minimal fuss; whereas I tend to view fits of blogging on my laptop as more a form of Art Therapy (versus Entertainment).  Anyways, Dee figures if I get tired of practicing at home, my new uke is lightweight enough to be transported to Greenlake or other fresh air spot.

Hollywood romance: Won over with diamonds or ukeleles?

Took off on the ferry to soak up Mississippi blues and music from the bayou:

Mr Terry "Harmonica" Bean at Blues Fest

As she was taking pictures of musicians, Dee pointed out the steel guitar (left, front) to me.

Sunpie Barnes worked the crowd onto their feet. There wasn't much of a dance floor at this particular venue, but the audience was stomping and singing along (whether they knew the words in English, French, or gibberish =)

Always wanted a washboard apron to jam with!

A Brief Recap of Where I'm At

Despite Dee's warnings that I was setting myself up for disappointment, I got all psyched and applied to the Blue Scrubs program at Crazy-Expensive Catholic School. And I got in. And I even got one of the scholarships I applied for. But I haven't been able to come up with a grand total of 30K/year, so it's highly unlikely that  matriculating there this Fall - unless I happen to strike it rich by winning the lottery (mmm better start playing). I'm sincerely bummed.

I know, I'll get over it. Hopefully sooner rather than later, while I can still enjoy the rest of summer.