Because today's Monday...

and I have less than a week to make a birthday wish.

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Why not head over to head-nurse's blog for a helping of brain-slash-will-power? 

Friday, August 08, 2008 "Panic: Ur doin' it wrong."

I know this sounds impossible, but our hospital has been on Disaster OMGWTF Footing for the last month.

Yes, fiends and neighbors, the last month.

Disaster is usually reserved for, you know, actual disasters. Like plane crashes. And hurricanes. And, I dunno, maybe huge leaks of refrigerant, or bioactive compounds from some horrible lab somewhere that're turning everybody into bunny-hopping happy zombies with bad 80's hair.


Or the air conditioning going out. That's also a disaster. But anyway. We've been on Disaster Footing, with Code Whatevers that Signify An Internal Disaster, daily except for weekends.


Why, you ask? Because of a computer glitch.


Scheduling is all fucked up, is the short answer. Somebody somewhere has been transitioning to some wonderful computer system that's going to be all ice-cream bars and puppies in the long run, but in the short run...eesh. All the operating rooms are triple-booked, which must be fun. Can you imagine? Close your eyes....


THE SCENE: SUNNYDALE HOSPITAL
THE CHARACTERS: VARIOUS NURSES AND O.R. TECHS


Opening: MORNING in the OPERATING ROOM, wide-angle


TECH #1: What are you doing here? I'm supposed to be setting this room up for a left pharyngeal troponetic farumulunectomy!


TECH #2: Huh? I'm here to set it up for a transverse myelopical zummulation ablation!


TECH #3: Both you guys are high. I've got a complete radical sympathomimetic wangulation scheduled here for 0800.


NURSES: We don't CARE what you're here for! Just set up for SOMETHING!!


Meanwhile, in recovery, things are going badly as well. And on the acute care floors, we're having conversations with Manglement that defy belief:


MANGLER: You need to get six patients out, double up four, and send three to rehab. Who've you got that can move?


NURSE IN NOMINAL CHARGE: Uh...well, these two spines could go to rehab, and we could double up the cranis, but we have eight patients in isolation and another five that are total-care. Six is the most I can give you right now.


MANGLER: What about that one? (Stabs finger at bed-board) That one looks pretty good. Why can't you send *him* home?


NINC: Uh...'cause he had a kidney removed about two hours ago?


MANGLER: Tell him to MAN UP!!


So. It's been a fun month.

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Further incidents, happy accidents, and etc to be had via head-nurse.blogspot.com

famous last words

Come on, Tikki. You'll probably never see these people again.

One of Dee's Pies in the Skies

Spotted on google images, turns out this artist is also on etsy.com under "pencilshavings." Thought her work (i.e. woodpeckers) looked familiar.

Wasn't Half Bad (If I Do Say So Myself)

Me and the gf have a running joke about who's tanner/darker (whiter) since I can always count on her dreaming up another backyard project during her days off. Sadly, Yours Truly's Monday thru Friday routine consists of strolling a few blocks to the office and back. Any day now, we'll take that backpacking trip across...the Americas? Let's presume we have a few kinks to work out before hatching Ultimate Breakaway. In the meantime, I've offered to assist "with navigation and lifting of heavy camera equipment as long as we can bypass any packs of hungry coyotes.'

I finally conceded that 'I could be a wee bit lighter' while the two of us stood in the shower line at Kitsap park. What can I say, I'd just been promised Sunday brunch at the lunch counter. They forgot both eggs in Dee's breakfast burrito but I got a whole breakfast sweet to myself when the diner owner realized that we were out-of-towners. (GF said she was "fine" after I waved a half a scone at her on the ride home.)