No Time Like the Present :// Non Desperately Seeking Zen-ness

"Like most Indian writers, Kabir is little known in the west. His poetry, often difficult to translate to English because of his use of arcane words and allusions, is nonetheless simple, immediate and deep." (Kabir: In the bliss of Sahaj, Knowledge of Reality Magazine)

Are you looking for me? I am in the next seat.
My shoulder is against yours.
You will not find me in the stupas, not in Indian shrine rooms, nor synagogues, nor in cathedrals:
not in masses, nor kirtans, not in legs winding around your own neck, nor in eating nothing but vegetables,
When you really look for me, you will see me instantly —
you will find me in the tiniest house of time.
Kabir says: Student, tell me, what is God?
He is the breath inside the breath.

I said to the wanting-creature inside me:
What is this river you want to cross?
There are no travellers on the river-road, and no road.
Do you see anyone moving about on that bank, or nesting?
There is no river at all, and no boat, and no boatman.
There is no tow rope either, and no one to pull it.
There is no ground, no sky, no time, no bank, no ford!
And there is no body, and no mind!
Do you believe there is some place that will make the soul less thirsty?
In that great absence you will find nothing,
Be strong then, and enter into your own body;
there you have a solid place for your feet.
Think about it carefully!
Don’t go off somewhere else!
Kabir says this: just throw away all thoughts of imaginary things,
and stand firm in that which you are.

Ordered yesterday..................

Re: about your mother

Hi Maria,

My mom had a nervous breakdown about 3 weeks ago. She was writing on the walls of the rental house where she was living with my stepdad, and then she barricaded herself inside with their dog Jethro. Dad ended up calling 911 and the police had to break down the door so they could take her to the ER. She was involuntarily admitted to a private psychiatric hospital in ATX.

Mom refuses to have any contact with Dad because he's filed for divorce and she says that he tried to push her down the stairs in September. This is different from what she said before (that she fainted and fell down the stairs). She's now very mistrustful/fearful of my stepdad and his family (Aunt M, Aunt P, Uncle E, etc.).

Mom was court-ordered to remain in treatment until at least November 9th, for her own safety. Right now I'm fighting with the hospital because her inpatient mental health insurance ran out last week, and they want to discharge her although she's still suffering from mania. I don't want the hospital to simply "dump" her for financial reasons while she's in crisis and can't fend for herself.

Mom's unhappy about being hospitalized. She's been telling the staff that she can go to the home of her friend S. Which unfortunately isn't true because she hasn't talked to S in over 2 months; in fact, I learned that they had an argument the last time they spoke because S is stressed with caring for her husband who has Alzheimer's.

Since I work on a psychiatric unit here (in a state facility), I'm familiar with the public health system and I know it's essential for my mom to receive professional support and case management. Before she was hospitalized, Mom said that she wanted to leave the country and stay with her brother L. I'd like to help her with the move, but she needs to get well first.

I'm sure she would love to hear from you if you want to call her at the hospital. But *please* be careful about what you say to her or to the hospital staff (especially the social worker Annette). If Mom or Annette (the social worker) get the idea that she can come live with you, the hospital will use it as an an excuse to try and release her without establishing an appropriate discharge plan.

If you'd like to reach Mom, please call me so I can give you the hospital phone number and the access code you need to connect with her. I also got your voicemail but I'm not sure what your phone number is? Or if you email me your number, I will give you a call. Thanks again for being a loyal friend to my mom.

Love,

TNK

Waiting for blueberry pancakes in bed ;)

Someone to Just Cuddle and Complain to

DEE: What are they called again--frarorities?

ME: Do you mean "fraternity" or "sorority"?

DEE: We had a young male the other night who'd had a little too much fun at his fraternity. They brought him in after being found drunk and unresponsive.

ME: In other words, it was a typical Friday night.

DEE: Well, I'm asking his roommates what happened exactly, since all I know from the medics is that the patient "got drunk at a party and threw up twice."

ME: Okey dokey. So what?

DEE: So I find out that his friends were trying to help him to the bathroom but all of a sudden he goes limp and quiet. That's when they got scared and called 911.

Now I'm worried these kids feel like assholes for making the call; the EMT's were making it seem like no big deal. I tell the guys they did the right thing: Better to get things checked out than having something bad happen to their friend. At the end, they're nodding "yeah, yeah" like they get it and would do it again if they had to.

ME: You're a real sweetie.

DEE: Upside is the guy wakes up the next day. Though it's too bad he managed to take a big crap in bed, first thing in the morning.

ME: Maybe that'll teach him to not get so, um, shitfaced next time?

DEE (making a face): You are too corny.

ME (smile): I try.

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Hey there -- happy three-year-anniversary Ms. Dee! Thanx for being my sweetheart and for always listening, and making me laugh, and watching out for me! Love it, and love *you* honey boo!
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